The bear uses trauma to fuel culinary perfection
If you haven’t had the chance to watch The Bear, the time is now.
A 30-minute comedy-drama about a young, award-winning chef who returns to his hometown Chicago to take over his brother’s restaurant after his unexpected death. Not only does this show slap you with the beauty and aggressive nature of what happens behind the scenes at a restaurant, but it’s also a raw portrayal of a loving, dysfunctional family whose love language seems to be passionately yelling creative condescending commentary at each other. You are always left wanting to know more. Why are they so loud? Why is everyone so angry? Where did it all begin?
A lot of criticism about the Bear has been in reference to the glamorization of a lifestyle many people in the service industry would describe as traumatic.
And the more you watch the show, the more you realize the adverse effects working in this industry can have on one’s sense of self and that’s very much embodied by Carmy. I always want to know more about where his anxiety began and how he learned to become such a star-studded chef.
My questions about family dynamics were finally answered during the flashback Christmas dinner episode. Jamie Lee Curtis gives an extraordinary performance as the mother of the 3 siblings who all have found ways to mitigate the unavoidable emotional meltdown everyone anticipates from her.
It all centers around the kitchen and you’re taken on an emotional rollercoaster where she encapsulates the energy and attitudes of an entire kitchen staff in preparation for the feast of the Seven Fishes. The episode ends with a car collision in the middle of the house and a shot of Carmy’s dissociated face, dartingly staring at the display of cannolis on the dining room table. I left the episodes with a new set of questions about the family but started thinking so much more about the ways we cope with trauma.
At the root of this show is a family in pain.
The Bear is very much a story about trauma and the ways we navigate familial ties in the wake of grief. In the next episode, Carmy came up with the idea of making a savory cannoli for their new menu; a new association for a dessert he’s avoided since that tragic Christmas dinner. While others may be thinking about how mouth-watering a savory cannoli sounds like, I was thinking about how Carmy is going from one coping mechanism (avoidance) to another: Sublimation.
Defining Sublimation
It’s quite challenging to get through life without any form of trauma and we’ve learned to find ways to cope so we can get through the tough times. Many coping mechanisms include avoidance, repression, denial, etc. But one very common and interesting coping mechanism is sublimation. Imagine turning negative energy into something positive and creative – that's the essence of sublimation.
Sublimation is a psychological process where people channel their distressing emotions or thoughts into constructive and creative activities. Instead of letting negative feelings overwhelm them, individuals use these feelings to fuel their creative endeavors. For instance, someone who has experienced trauma might channel their pain into painting, writing, music, sports, and in Carmy’s case, cooking. This redirection of energy helps them cope in a healthier way.
How Sublimation Works
Think of sublimation as a magical transformation – it's like turning lemons into lemonade. When people experience difficult emotions like anger, sadness, or anxiety due to trauma, those emotions can be overwhelming. Sublimation steps in as a superhero, taking those intense feelings and guiding them into a different path. By engaging in a creative activity, the person can focus their energy on something positive and uplifting. Ever hear people say that the best art comes from pain? That’s what we’re talking about.
Benefits of Sublimation
Sublimation isn't just about distraction – it's a way of turning darkness into light. Engaging in creative activities helps individuals release pent-up emotions and gain a sense of control. It can boost self-esteem, provide a healthy way to manage stress and foster personal growth. Plus, the final creations – whether it's a painting, a song, or a poem – can serve as powerful reminders of resilience and triumph over adversity.
Is sublimation enough of a coping mechanism to help Carmy function? I’m not so sure. It may be great for creating a Michelin-star level restaurant and empowering a team of amazing chefs. But, there are many other mechanisms at play that keep him stuck and I look forward to learning more.
Season 2 of The Bear is on Hulu.
Begin Working With A PTSD Therapist in New York, NY
Past trauma doesn’t have to keep you from a better future. As a trauma therapist, I would be happy to offer a place for you to learn healthier coping mechanisms from my New York, NY-based practice. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
Contact me to schedule a 15-minute phone call to see if we could be a good fit
Meet with me, a skilled trauma therapist for your first session
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OTHER SERVICES OFFERED AT RESTORITY SPACE
At Restority Space, I offer more than just trauma therapy for my clients. I offer the care women may need when it comes to their mental health online in both New York and New Jersey. This is why I offer Individual Therapy to help women cope with their anxiety, depression, unhealthy relationships, and any major life transitions. I also provide services for those struggling with a breakup. I’m also happy to provide Group Therapy to help women find a sense of belonging and for more support. My group services include a Therapy Group For New Mothers and a Therapy Group For Black Women. To learn more check out my blog and other resources!